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welcome to the auctioneer still do need to book. I'm not gonna go into too

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much. but I just wanted to thanks DVD plus advisory group for

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organising this lecture. and I know a lot of members past and present

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and I know that we put quite a lot of time and effort into these events. I just wanna

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thank everyone for doing on the support that we get from EDU and I

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am personally very excited about. I'll speak to Louise on this

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line here of mine so that's really really exciting and

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I just wanna briefly mention that I'd like to thank you for continuing to stand by the stone

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wall values. I'm continuing to take part in the quality index

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and with that I'd like to say I'd like to introduce you to BC Louise Richardson.

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I'd like to thank you for opening news letters every year I think it's really important we noting

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your business everywhere stuff. thank you.

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lovely evening everyone is terrific to be back but before I begin. no put more effort into

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these events and into educating this whole community. thanks. so please

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give us.

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so some you know this is the eleventh and you are your BT history Simon Fletcher and my

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sister to attend and each one has been serviced. my no. tonight

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is going to be no reception there. I wanna start with a little bit of good news in twenty

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nineteen and University of Oxford was named of one the U.K.'s most

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insurers for LGBT but charge is John Wallace. Sara just mentioned in the

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work place quality index I was recently announced. we secured a place in the

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top one hundred for second year and we've moved up the ranking from ninety third

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seventy six. but as many of you know in the Times higher red ranking

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wreck number one in the warehouse. so I don't think we can start on to another one one. thank you.

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to me shouldn't really take this opportunity

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to attend our LGBT plaster students and allies for all

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the hard work throughout putting on events and providing invaluable feedback

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to those of us in the University who are striving to make this a better university

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every day and no more so than the EDU and our advocate

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very policy on the first the Rebecca surrenders again. very warm thanks to

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everyone bloody chance to our speaker. we had a wonderful

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first name and is the reason alright. is there a renowned

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award winning project. clear items her for. she has a number form place for the

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National Theatre well contact the Royal exchange. so the opera house read that

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Sheffield Crucible and BBC radio three and four and an award

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winning the show on the road for two shoppers aircraft in Manchester.

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look forward to your mother. she has an undertaking writing assignment in Queensland

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and university manager over in Winnipeg and it is a BBC contains

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strong language post residence. I did wonder about that one for

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this morning has been a lot of strong language in seventeen twenty one.

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this is Amherst Hughes of HR to his face. Percy

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entries. so I don't know if that's possible constitute strong language.

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you know Natalie and her career. but more recently works to make excellent

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countries are confirmation with for the people was recognised when

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she was appointed as an MBE in the Queens birthday on the twenty eighteen for services

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to the spoken word music and outstanding achievements in the community battery

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is run the Manchester customer what's the best performance for a solution which is credit to

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the problem of public engagement and trade enquiry with listed the variance of

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early answers to mention. is ground breaking book and one on the show

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room which has experience of being raised and it doesn't different to and so.

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we just got her voice and she's after and also firstly if you just seventeen

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hundred she said. I left a care of Manchester local authority and nineteen eighty

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seven. I have no job no way forward however I was locked the

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Hassan. I was phoning about the community of contract to theatre I'm a community of LGBT

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QA and anti racist race my hopes and aspirations and

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the absolute belief in time. thank you managing. they told me the guiding principle

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and injury to one is an injury to all after being unemployed for

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ten years. I was supported by Nigel office workers to go on the access course.

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I did pre- course on contemporary history and politics. happy anniversary for four ninety

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ninety seven. hope you can one of only one percent of care leavers to is

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the BA Honours. I find that one of the most inspirational things I've read in a long

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time. there's many people in care

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who trying to get an education it is still waiting just call for them to do so.

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we have got this message. University. we are trying in recent years

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we've agreed to give a three hundred and sixty five days accommodation and priority access to bursaries

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and scholarships and one on one supporter last year. for those

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leaving here. I'm coming to Oxford but again the numbers are waiting for you.

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we taking steps to help those strange students we're very glad that we have taken the

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stand alone pledge but there's still so many impediments.

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two people coming from here. if you don't have the support of the family

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making it in university and especially one has competitors in terms of this

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one. so we are trying we've as you know we've announced foundation and

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this is the new program based on an initiative at M and H. where we

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will be identifying students with the help of thirty teachers students in kerosene for FDG

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student education has been severely disrupted. we're going to bring

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fifty S in here every year on the foundation you with the hope that at the end of the year.

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they will be able to make a competitive application to Oxford. so

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we've gotten this message but there's no great attachment. the of amount times

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we are missing speakers this evening. so with that. can I ask

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you to join me. we. we phoning and phoning

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thank you very much bye run through the reason. thank you very much Doctor Clara Barker. just

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wanna show it to you. you're my absolute hero.

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one says first half an ventilator for. so

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out doing fluid. working class diary. speak to you Derek

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it's Sarah. Cindy

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here. missed it earlier when I was about twelve

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here social worker. it was a lovely woman. she

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came to Watford on holiday. her daughter was here and she sent me a postcard.

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Mister still there. she sent me a postcard through the

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training suppliers of Oxford. when she got back

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home. have a great day. lots of love dude. later. oh she was by

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the way if you could go to Watford. now I format was

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my usual response to praise forward

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slash forward. nearly forty years and they bounced or doing something you are.

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I haven't prepared lecture. I'm just gonna kind of free sorry.

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tell you about my life. most of which is in my bungalow

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which is also one moment shall I perform this

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too many different audiences. I always get the questions

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but how did you make it here. how did you survive

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everything that you've survived. I have no idea.

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just to give you a little picture of

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what my child was like. I

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was given the final one. I was late it seems.

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well it was called the final final norms. I'm wondering what was actually

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a piece of paper with the list on the list

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was first March nineteen sixty nine Bourne

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Withington Hospital. eight fifty a.m.. twenty ninth of April

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the to third of August nineteen sixty nine. placed in private foster carer.

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first of August transfer to adoption nursery. third fourth best place

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to fostering with a view to adoption. I waiting satisfactory medical report.

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next nine months in hospital. second of June nineteen seventy.

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adoption team at Manchester County Court twenty

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fifth December nineteen seventy nine. I've got some breaks down.

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it's Francis Court. fourth the of January nineteen eighty. return

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to the doctors from the eleventh of February nineteen eighty. we

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are admitted into a care twenty seventh of February nineteen eighty one

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transfers. one being the assessment unit Manchester local authority.

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May nineteen eighty one. it's Wednesday. June nineteen eighty one.

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it's outcome an. the eleventh of January not you needed to place this afternoon.

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first of February. return Wednesday. first of July you know before transfer

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to foster care seventeenth of October nineteen eighty three. it's a care

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twenty eighth of February nineteen eighty six transferred to dollar hostel first of January

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nineteen eighty seven this. chap from Canada.

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that was it that was the abridged version of my

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file. that was me wife. perhaps it seems different

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children's homes past placements as you said on the list

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when I left. I

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wanna do this when Alaska is amazing.

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give us a freedom and it sounds like this screen writing

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like slick talk through the pavement cracks. really riding

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everything. I can smell everything. talk to you soon. it's all on the Finsbury.

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one bedroom. this is my no. but it's not like when I'm awake. it's not

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fake. I'd really I ride. I fly out to read my writing is

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Stereophonics what my bike bionic six million dollar. we

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have the capability booked in our building. long band

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twist breath. I can bring these wheels to your titanium

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call and it lost in six Clarke. so absolute nice. change of

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personnel. Cambridge has pulled now

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navigation - ventilation. if not the likes just like when I'm awake. this

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is Ace. I changed the light snow right now. we not amber multi coloured

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strap traffic lights this is mine. mine all mine change

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the colours change the times. let it all swing into

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me. he's been chasing myself. look forward to sniper.

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I am found somewhere with both Riley on your surprise visit in between

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worries. John on pavement. ringing just really loud soon. bye.

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we're dealing with the politics people shall yeah get off on

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the box it's only Mum your. you are doing right thing. speak to you soon many

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millions of roofs and the only way round. do you know and certain things. there

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is the firm that drops down. it's a ramp and I'm off

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the top of the top and the alarms on the roof of the library. is it round the top

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per set three sixty skid polish off over the top of the town hall ten

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o'clock. been in back porch. alright one of them still landed on my

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hands. perfect match you can actually best way to put it

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loose me up a level two room rising no more. how you doing.

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this is mine. hope all is well I come over. I'm awake and alive. a parcel

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waiting to arrive. it's. I splashed down and sort

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this out. I'll move that found. it was me to John please. fifty

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one eight / nought nine / change all the gaps replacement we

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booked for she can sky round mine.

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anyway. then there is Lou. how are you shimmering.

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track all traffic lights reflected resolution. I can

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do. do do we take off landing page pedal like the platters or the top

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the top. Long birthday and I shall go

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moment. when you do find the most of property visit.

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catch catch a

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flight. Cheers.

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so that's what we think care felt like

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a leather chair. yeah that was it like what was not you know on line.

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that was all at the miners strike. there. the first thing is just

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rewind in a little bit. the first break the first political action.

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I ever instigated we planned in the typing

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class is on a conference call with the best against the new training

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schemes that was basically told it was on offer

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to me. my social worker. I Matt thought I could call me at Watford. nobody

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else apart back. it's about time to chat

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to me. that was kind of thrown out some plans for me. where's

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Ward. I've already been print in of it. when I was in care of yourself Tony you know what's

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happening in Rochdale. yeah some old skating care. I'm not lying

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and you laptop it. you get on with it. so

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the trajectory that was planned for me was and

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it was to me as well the job interviews and everything. I would end up in prison

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or a prostitute old are you.

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hey Ringo phoning from a bloke called for me because I. so

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I'm gonna claim coming down for this rock but been in millions of miles

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per hour in you know throughout space the I'm putting on.

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I'm staying and I'm gonna be some. I don't have a clue what that was.

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so let's test at seventeen Reece and

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Alistair. it's seventeen and not eighteen with you but I came

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out I've. already been someone's already planned a school

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strike. got I've oh yeah. I went to green and common. got green events

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on the socialist work as part we'll talk about that. about six months that was there

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in Stockport. I'm in

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La rewind just a little bit what was it like being on Square the Winchester.

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so it's been most of the homes were bombarding on the normal is more one

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place. when I came out what the latest staff who were stranded NHS

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kept trying to tell me that I couldn't be a lesbian.

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when I eventually got file my. hopefully yes ago. I was ringing about.

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I was weird because I was and refused to wear Michael call

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and I refuse to wear skirts and things

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and the home phone yes. it's been ripped off the pages of the

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full file is is terrible because of course the girl other thing care.

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we were discouraged from

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anyway. when I finally came out. so anyway I what did was I went some

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slides in out the office. also was on the little resolutions.

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and I claim political silence. the council

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office. my sixty just to see if you're in writing. the fifties

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I'm still looking for a spin on it. Andrew no. is Manchester

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and at the time. was it like a social list Republic. ready

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to update people on my side out of the office just finishing off the.

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so Alistair is on holiday so

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yeah so it's only just went on. I've got to bed

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woman the who rang the home phone the police to drop now and all that of

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and take me home. give us a free taxi identifying some lunch.

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so it was a was out know you we rendezvous at all. spoke to me call

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I and would like one side to side it was a late fee and that was it. and

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nobody is gonna talk me out of it. I came

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out. hello. I was doing his training schemes of everything.

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I've processed it again. and I was in this little flat

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on me own. completely spoke to soon fact in the social worker

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it got me into this. contact me. which is beautiful to

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me. that's part of the file because the social worker rights how I found myself

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how I found my voice. so I started I've got to right the play

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and I told the director stuff for staff I know don't what the right play and it the first

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Christmas that care when the door closed. I now lay out was this

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little hamper. we're bombing it and. I thought

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maybe maybe that's my way. I can survive starting point

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on service and Rock been in millions of miles per hour through space.

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the other thing happens and it was almost a guest room with

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Margaret Thatcher. am I allowed for class twenty oh eight.

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what the case section well it's called twelve twenty seven. if you can close twenty eight.

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she gave me something to five forty. thank you very much. Mrs Thatcher

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that's all I'll talk to you for. I was in the club one night.

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the number one club in Manchester. somebody's phoned the leaflet in the arms

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with all these little files on it and it was about plus twenty seven

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/ K and was it saying all the things

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that we're gonna happen. you know we're

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cinema I remember the most with. it's a bit

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literature would be removed from libraries. I'm

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that now. yeah went cos all I asked when

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I a was kid with library. I've spent so much time on

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libraries. the one you know you could hide in libraries

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and through on the book shelves and the role the

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cos again it was radical Manchester to all these wipes out to resolve this ten minutes little

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chit chat. give us a phone call. I'm in Houston not the only free

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with day my grandchildren. it was all about. so I was like oh you gonna remove

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those books off the shelves either of them are deaf either someone joint

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the campaign. again it's twelve twenty eight the Northwest campaign for Lesbian

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and Gay quota. and I've never met and talked

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to people in my life. they accepted me

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and it was wonderful wonderful age to arrive in the

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room like this is what this is cos we're all radical and everything the specialist

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meters the from cos I was wondering if you were working class people let alone why

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you know. thirdly grown up in a chair.

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I've always been a big drop there. if you can probably tell and

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you know use that card and there was a hundred dolphins

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on that campaign. what we used to do with me we're send me all over the country.

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speak to you in room five. this Colin hi this is Paul Barry.

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call me. we've got a call now. apparently domain our Thompson are you

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driving. you know what I mean it's terrible. it's it's it's it's really hard

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really to articulate what it was like thirty odd years ago and I frightens

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so many people were to speak to you later. Cheers. bye. and especially

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about this more. that was coming which was the first am gay long

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since Thursday from the live station. and

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so I've got you still going over to London. I've got

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missed to going up to Scotland. what we would do the campaign

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was we decided we were gonna plan for fifty seven Queens demo in the world.

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we've tried to get Elizabeth Taylor support when absolutely fine. you know where we were

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team we will meet you in middle class which is split fifty fifty

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men and women. there's always a bum fight over from Swindon. the let's thing going

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man. it's that time. so it's been through the sentences together. I've

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not I didn't know anything you know anything about that and they pads all

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round and it's again it's difficult to articulate how difficult it

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was to bring lesbians and go man to sit in the room and agree

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re agree on speakers we on the map to free

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on a free SpinVox trial. we are somewhere outside. so yes really funny one I

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dropped off to be stored in the middle. because I didn't have fall back history.

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what of what those what me older brothers and sisters with them

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through our website now what we'll need to do is come together and fight

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together and then we need to be as broad as possible we

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need flash to straight people on the match win. you know it was amazing.

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lovely. took us six weeks now. we managed to pull

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off in Manchester. the biggest first LGBT July. they are

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lovely straight allies altogether. we talk over the Manchester city centre.

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what was initially with my Manchester my council but still caught up

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Parma. I'm out of town hall and it was basically it's because like

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the rally of Manchester. everybody is welcome in Manchester everybody.

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you know and yeah I got a list of March.

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seventeen in a bit. I know what. I've got really out of control

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because somebody said to me. look after them. and it was Michael

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Cashman and Ian McAllister. Michael Cashman was cos of the standards board and

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absolutely in a coma sorry.

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so it's my job to look after them. and noted that we would have inside

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and telling we have to smash to follow this big banner and I think it was plain through

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cos we were like what if people you know patch panels what if the police

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charge also. just missed the police were very different please let me tell ya.

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cos they will be in London five at James Anderson in L .com. remember

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you know we mean it was is in charge of our police so maybe try get all the gates all

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shut down because we're down to server licenses

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damn. it was called. so we we're up

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against that as well. will but call you look to

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the. so protect or if you could look to move

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to protector cos I was I was so and

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it was amazing when we set off. was that we were so

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frightened that something would happen and then we'll fight this force

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and this energy and then you not back and I've never seen so

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many people apart from lunch you know when you're not at Windsor Court. you know things are all

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there for that meeting and the roll unified together

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together. we will fight this. so we did we lost we lost

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the thing became we changed our fifty four.

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you know we do sort of what

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we've managed to achieve in terms of unity to bring

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man and woman together for Friday together and

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then how that has grown be to inclusive of

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everybody's identity. please them straight people God. bless.

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right. hello. what else happens.

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so I had to sleep the office. I'm in the family

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room asked Manchester town hall from which

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I plans. we planned this match in this resolution

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next door to the office with the very last Monday's defence

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campaign. Sarah harassment. this is Herschel Lanton.

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since our last relaunch in refugee. if you wish. well actually

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was technically allowed to stay in this country.

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he needs comrades a set up the campaign.

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he was in the sanctuary in the church in

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few minutes seven for revolution I was coming in. he

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had stay in Leicester. thousand forty based on life and

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the office is next door. I've got talking to the office

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and I want to see if you're around and became part of that

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campaign soon and the reason I'm really started caring

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about refugees and asylum speakers and was

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because I was concern only displaced in this country.

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I have no home is becoming

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part of that campaign was incredible too. because it taught

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me about this thing about broad church. this thing about you

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know an injury one to an injury to our through that campaign I've got

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involved in them to put the pass out movement and it was incredible I was

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on the eighteenth. so make them all of

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these people who open my my to

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things like this education linen and things like that.

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was just slight change and then it was it was also difficult. as

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I say we lost the close twenty eight pounds.

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took a long time to get that off the statute will Marsh got

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departed and

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it's all really. what was right in for.

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we're not always gonna we're not always gonna win. now you know.

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so therefore we're always gonna be five two. we're always gonna be on this fourteen as

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you know there's always gonna be someone on the call. what do we

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do we stay on our own way and just been well I'm alright.

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Paul Blacker Road. on a quality or do we keep fighting

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and keep sharing. thank you for expanding the wonderful umbrella of the LGBT

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to buy any many letters as we can get in there. because

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that is about. it's about five a quality gas

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being invited. we can't let anything at all.

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get in the way side.

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so couple years ago. got invite

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to talk about clause twenty eight the working class. my and

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in Brighton. it was Michael Fortune. meet to Doctor Clara.

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if you still there. and illustrated to

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and compare it to the headlines from

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thirty odd years ago. but what they were saying about me

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now what the media about trans people.

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I don't know if up got got me in the same way they close twenty eighth

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of May. so I am a lesbian. I'm an inclusive lesbian.

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I'm always gonna be the person who is looking for who

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is now eight forty and at the moment. that's trans people and I believe

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we are left to stand for from people and Stamford gas. don't

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let anything break our umbrella party.

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I remember when the symbol for LGBT

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people with the pink triangle

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not simple. in case you don't know chasing the death camps

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when millions of course we killed them. we

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decided to have this brain slack and to be honest with ya. I was

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a bit freaked out about that service. I was just finishing list

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as well. I believe in no borders. absolutely we

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don't need partners on this no. the name is Ruth Bates. it's half four.

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so I was a bit like all those goes. think I to get national list

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now. now I've got over it. I'm

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also happy to walk through the streets of Oxford and see.

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alright. it's on the roof here. okay bye. screaming a

380
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quality and is this a safe space for everybody everybody

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is welcome and that and I believe we've got a cake so that you know additional

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know thirty odd years ago. we were so released. we when had straight people March

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and with those when we had our. so if you are free you then I'll you call. I'm in titled

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in your lane now. walk left

385
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and right. give a us ring buddy. listen Paul. how are you gonna bring them

386
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:42,000
for. how are you Ray. how are you. on by side

387
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:47,000
and it can be really simple May. I like to organise with Emma Slatter at

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Doctor Clara. that's what I did. I talk over the phone.

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the Manchester pride with a big banner. it's what is it Manchester

390
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Lesbian. standing by our Trans. I managed

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to get fifty facing the wrong way fifty people. but we got it's a little bit

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and it's it's for two reasons. I wanted to remind my community if it's political

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activism and standing all three children the wonderful times people we are

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because we are very cos. you know that was what was wonderful about finding

395
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I was a lesbian. when I came out in today's going well. give was a load of people who

396
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didn't have their families to. so we can make sure this family chosen from. work

397
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:44,000
that's what we last saw each other now always

398
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:49,000
the secrets and always have to wear thongs and always happy embarrassing call and I'm

399
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:54,000
from going I'm for we things phoning from home sites

400
00:36:54,000 --> 00:37:00,000
at Christmas and I'll look out for dinner with family. when you have day

401
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family to each other. so I didn't realise I was gonna go lost almost five

402
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o'clock. so oh

403
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blue. blue a tells story

404
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:22,000
of me searching for my birth mother

405
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:27,000
and stuff as well as sales out at seventeen eighteen.

406
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:32,000
I also started searching for my mum and

407
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:38,000
they're twelve units of going backwards and forwards

408
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:44,000
the to same norms telling me the same thing that he's been writing letters

409
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:50,000
and there's no reply. and then

410
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Wednesday. okay let know

411
00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:01,000
told me to come in see to and it was a Saturday and that has never happened before.

412
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:06,000
she put me in this room and it was a different room to the normal one which is

413
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:12,000
just two plastic chairs and a box of tissues track back me eyes out pricing

414
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:17,000
as well and she tell me

415
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:22,000
that my mother haven't been in talk to you this

416
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Saturday. I'll turned up and then

417
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Norman told me that my mum turned up to the office and it was the same

418
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office where she's left a message your on home phone tears earlier and it was

419
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:43,000
wonderful feeling and instead of going on about it. I'll just tell you

420
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it. so yes so the non- starfish. so

421
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Simon is called Malabar. I went into a shock and sorted all that out I didn't

422
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:59,000
cry and then she went what you gonna do with yourself now Louise.

423
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:04,000
I'm gonna go to the flight to Moscow. so I just want to know if you got

424
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:09,000
software that always starts to get a bit of pieces

425
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:14,000
from those children so she make sure you get a couple of bottles port of

426
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:20,000
with. you so

427
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:25,000
everything made sense. the spiders were catching

428
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:31,000
the phone my name written on the bench. I've been sitting

429
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:36,000
on the present moment taking the weight off to see

430
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well what see are popular search for his reflection on the.

431
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:48,000
the old ladies who host when they see me

432
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:53,000
they hope know what my truth is the manage services with

433
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:58,000
I. couldn't tell them what I've just found out would be

434
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:03,000
strangers news that this day was mine and I felt connected

435
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:08,000
to them. I had my ancestors. I swear

436
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:14,000
we did. so it's hopefully thirteen an hour just to get some dates pretty soon.

437
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:20,000
I heard them in the last thirteen hours.

438
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:26,000
experience sure he's

439
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:31,000
alright nothing I've ever known. finally somebody won

440
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:36,000
it's me. we're claiming me. I was in my

441
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own skin. I think it's the on back of your brain when you handed

442
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over to link with when you can

443
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,000
no longer summary on what voicemail. something called five

444
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forty and I'm sure it of for the first

445
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time I felt. it didn't

446
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matter. they should meet Michelson one. just the one was all I

447
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:12,000
needed. just wanted to see if you look like a real a lot quite

448
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:17,000
meaningful. just want to find out who I

449
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:24,000
am. just want to tell me where it comes from.

450
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:29,000
just the one is missing off. just had lunch with

451
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mess up Paul I just want to because I don't need them any

452
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more. just the one. I wanted nothing from.

453
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just to see just to understand that was all.

454
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:52,000
give us call arranged five years option place. you have a special afternoon. it's

455
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:57,000
Brett. it's still a little earlier we. are supporting this ticket on the outside

456
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:02,000
it looks like a normal house. but on the inside as the same

457
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institutional institutional chest and institutional

458
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:17,000
windows are misty now. I'm putting a room.

459
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I wait I pay. she is. late

460
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Norman is getting really anxious. also not around

461
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:36,000
after thirty years. no news getting really stressed I've never seen

462
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:41,000
like that before which usually means it's in a mess today. mike

463
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:47,000
blue. you told me to gather then

464
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:52,000
the sound of the castle in all the door bell rings.

465
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:58,000
I can hear him for voice outside obviously panicking something about.

466
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:03,000
taxes something about hair then

467
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:09,000
the door open. I'm gonna the lose there to support them on just

468
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:14,000
finish some folks up

469
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:19,000
there. is my mother. I

470
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:25,000
look straight in the eyes. I know those size. they are my eyes.

471
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:30,000
exactly the same shade of green. I know she looks

472
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:37,000
since my eyes and she knows me. thirty years now way

473
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:42,000
she start shaking. I start coughing and all my

474
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:47,000
dreams are suddenly transformed into a six four one

475
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:54,000
and just to say to see what was lacking first time

476
00:43:54,000 --> 00:44:00,000
the same time we both eighty someone bring.

477
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:05,000
we skip each other room and sit down with in it exactly

478
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:10,000
the same way. we are ready to begin

479
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:17,000
then. oh hello Jill it's Port Talbot.

480
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:24,000
I'm one of the first things have to I say it's Melissa. I'm a lesbian.

481
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:30,000
she didn't care she didn't care. my mum printer.

482
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:36,000
the main thing. so the story goes on and

483
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:42,000
many things happen. such as anything up in the dark.

484
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:47,000
your track no. you if know something about

485
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:53,000
growing all going through this identity search. what

486
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:58,000
I'm like. call me up with that I'm a lesbian and then nobody in the whole world

487
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:03,000
is against that. so

488
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:09,000
call me into this very simple truth. I stored in front

489
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:14,000
of the woman who gave birth to me and she didn't touch me.

490
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:20,000
how lucky am I. yeah.

491
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:26,000
so it goes.

492
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:31,000
hey it was interesting. the person

493
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:38,000
that I felt I was fragmented completely. so when I'm at my Mum

494
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:43,000
and. it's not an easy journey. it's not easy for

495
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:49,000
them both but I've got some notes of caution here.

496
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:56,000
if this is you. and you're gonna come and meet your mum or whatever.

497
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:01,000
ask questions of the right people. so if you left behind we'll have

498
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:07,000
more questions than you. they are looking to you to complete the portal

499
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:13,000
because they are too scared of the true notes of caution.

500
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:18,000
do not ever perform the role of practical. no matter no matter

501
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,000
how many flats in Castle flame in the your name might

502
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:29,000
treat you like a golden child. really to want leave a off car themselves.

503
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:34,000
note of caution. the just will shine right through

504
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:40,000
you are till you start asking questions.

505
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:47,000
notes of caution. in hindsight. ring can insist Bliss

506
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:52,000
notes of caution. anything other than the fact will fail to satisfy

507
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:57,000
you notes of caution where we finished

508
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:02,000
our stories. I'm very interested in those in the same now.

509
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:08,000
notes of caution. there will be some real moment. excellent

510
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:13,000
bit longer. you can hold on to no matter how fleeting sales

511
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:18,000
moment our notes of caution family.

512
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:24,000
it's a situation comedy I'll take the pick right out

513
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:29,000
here. note of caution. don't ever. feel

514
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:36,000
guilty feeling like you had lucky some escape today. okay if you away.

515
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:41,000
notes of caution. thank you also at some point.

516
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:47,000
send you a postcard. perhaps with a bunch of flowers. she

517
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:52,000
did give it to you. even though she was nothing asked

518
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:57,000
what the post card. the flowers. that way of responsibility

519
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:05,000
and you not are. you're than more skipper

520
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:15,000
in conclusion.

521
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:23,000
if somebody fax you the way you look into a bit more

522
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:28,000
advice that was given to me. I on the full track

523
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:33,000
from calling Dublin.

524
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:39,000
as been attacked yet again the for way I look ironically

525
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:44,000
after therapy session for repeating yesterday. I think old

526
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:49,000
boy it's John boy show my wife. I've also questioned who I

527
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:55,000
am on with my life my doctors mother was the first person.

528
00:48:55,000 --> 00:49:00,000
so call me when she's heard that came out of the diary.

529
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:06,000
was it the first time I've heard that word. she is to me because she wanted

530
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:12,000
to know the girl she got with me

531
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:17,000
and she made it plain that she hated me was she Jefferson. Jefferson. Jefferson

532
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:22,000
ring me. out of the door. eighty nine was it one of the

533
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:28,000
complaints to the social worker that stopped me into care.

534
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:33,000
well I got missing files from social services. it was full of comments

535
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:39,000
about me being invoiced. it was not a good thing to be. give us a sign

536
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:44,000
but I was on a different phone leaving care. call

537
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:49,000
us as strange as a chase through me the straight street. demanding to know you have

538
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:56,000
all the girl. your man or the woman.

539
00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:01,000
when I answered back I've got job me broken have kicked him out fight back.

540
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:07,000
we talked the next day feeling shame if I've been involved in a fight.

541
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:13,000
I never told anybody for years. I didn't know you could tell the parts

542
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:19,000
going into an article in the eighties. he didn't tell the cops if

543
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:25,000
as usual. as usually they would be attacking in to

544
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:30,000
my system seems to make people listed because they didn't know what

545
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:35,000
box to fit me the in O2 which wasn't the to

546
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Beaver. give us a time frame on this and examine everything including books

547
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:45,000
firm. I had a go me at in a

548
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:50,000
little bit late. through me hair.

549
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:57,000
it didn't work. I feel like it any track for web address.

550
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:03,000
I've only owned one. that's Miss Barclay about half an hour. congratulations as

551
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:09,000
well with my Doc Martins with the split with now in stock I will talk to you soon.

552
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:15,000
however I don't feel like any where it. please also

553
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:20,000
ask that question. am I alright my one day

554
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:25,000
and shaved off all the tills. that was a bad move Fatima Skinner.

555
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:31,000
just to confirm this will be quite a shaved head with a aggression

556
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:36,000
man. I found a decent barber place to go

557
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:43,000
to spare. I can hear men's conversations.

558
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:48,000
both times when everybody's knob head. point is well made minor right

559
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:53,000
through. but I'm not a man. I do a quick

560
00:51:53,000 --> 00:52:01,000
point. you can feel. but I couldn't get it to stand up tonight. give us.

561
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:07,000
now the question has changed. now I'm asked about which phone now.

562
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:12,000
I'd like to be referred by Miss Jones it's pretty much every

563
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:17,000
day. okay call service regularly. I quite like

564
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:24,000
it now everyday. I'm crossing borders

565
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:30,000
that day zero one up on the first tailor to what supposed

566
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:35,000
to do. carpet man.

567
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:41,000
I'm phoning and check me out now.

568
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:46,000
check down check to see which is five hundred. yeah.

569
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:52,000
it happens every day I'm crossing Fortis

570
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:58,000
first to find out who I am then to answer the question how do I define

571
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:03,000
the yourself. otherwise if the like

572
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:08,000
this. I am at the moment. I spoke to him for

573
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:14,000
fourteen years I'm the porch for me. I'm about five

574
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:19,000
minutes. I am a handful warm and no more

575
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:30,320
questions left in the world. thank you